Gut Feeling
by Marx810
Summary: Set a year after the end of the Kick Ass 2, Dave ends up meeting a girl who vaguely reminds him of Mindy. But is this a good thing or will it only lead the hero to more tragedy? Rated M for language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

_(A/N: For those who either are rereading this story or who've read the reviews, yes, I changed a name of a character from when this was originally published. There was a good reason for that and that's all I really have to say about it. Enjoy the story.)_

Dave let out a loud yawn as he walked down the street. He was tired but his time as a hero wouldn't allow him to completely drop his guard even after late classes. It was night time and he was in New York so it was probably a good idea to keep his eyes open anyway. He knew how easily crimes could happen better than most. But he was trying to ignore any signs of one. He just wanted to go home without anything happening. He didn't even have his costume with him. Dave didn't feel like he was in any position to stop a crime anyway.

So of course, he felt himself being suddenly pulled down an alley. Before he could protest, a hand covered his mouth and slammed him into the wall. Dave could feel the cold, sharp blade pressing against the tender skin of his neck. "Wallet and phone or I slit your throat." The knife was pressed onto his throat again to prove the point.

What happened next was all adrenaline and instinct. And maybe a little bit of annoyance at not having quiet night when he wanted one. He quickly had his attacker's wrist and in one swift motion, the tables were turned with Dave pressing the knife onto his attacker's throat instead. It wasn't the first time that he mentally thanked Mindy for all the training she pounded into him in their short time together, wherever she was now.

But back to the matter at hand, both he and the attacker were in for a shock. The attacker for how quickly the tide had turned and Dave because his attacker was a girl roughly his age, maybe a little older. She didn't say another word. She just held up her hands in surrender and visibly gulped waiting to see where this situation went. If someone had told him his attacker had teleported away and put this poor girl in front of him when he fought back, he'd have believed it. She didn't look like a threat in the slightest.

Immediately he looked around to see if she was alone or if this was an ambush and then he quickly patted down what he could reach to see if she had any concealed weapons. She didn't put up any resistance and he didn't find anything regardless. His eyes bared into hers with a glare and she remained a quiet deer in the headlights. This whole thing reeked of desperation and there was something familiar about her that triggered his pity. When he asked himself what would Hit Girl do, something he did quite often with her gone, he didn't come up with any options that were acceptable to him. But he needed to make a choice before someone walked by and thought he was robbing _her_. When you looked at the two of them, that was the more likely scenario. He was surprised she'd overpowered him in the first place.

"Make…better…decisions." Dave growled before letting her go and quickly leaving the alley, wiping his fingerprints off of the knife and throwing it in a dumpster a few blocks away. 'Make better decisions,'? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Sure he was trying to be intimidating so she wouldn't try to follow him or anything and he said the first thing that popped in his head but still. However, as he tried to think of what else he could have said, nothing came to mind. He was tired and just wanted to sleep. Now that the danger had passed, the adrenaline was waning. He wanted more than anything in his life to just get home without any further incidents. Marty's home technically. Whatever. He just needed the bed. Thankfully, this time his wish was granted.

* * *

"Oh fuck you, you fanboy bastard!" Marty protested.

"Aren't we all fanboy bastards?" Dave responded with a chuckle. A good night's sleep and a day at the comic book store with his friends after class had momentarily put last night's confrontation out of his mind as he seemed to be his normal self again.

"That's completely besides the point." Marty flashed Dave a grin while trying to remain angry before turning his attention back to Todd. "The Suicide Squad would be out for the count before the fight even started. The only threat they have is Enchantress, and Black Alice would make Enchantress her bitch. No contest."

"Black Alice isn't the end all be all. She's the biggest threat so she'd get taken out first. Soultaker to the chest. It's a magical object, not a person. Done. Your soul is mine like Shang Tsung, motherfucker. Then what have you got who's a decent fighter? Catman? Croc could take the rest of him by himself, Deadshot and Harley picking up the scraps." Todd said, triumphantly.

Marty rolled his eyes. "Knockout, Bane and Scandal, bitch. That's all I have to say to that…"

"Wait Wait Wait…" Todd waved his hands in the air. "You can't use the pre-New 52 Secret Six."

"Agreed." Dave chimed in, the unofficial referee.

"Why not?" Marty turned to Dave.

"Because then Deadshot would be on both teams. Hardly fair."

There was a sudden silence around the table. Dave hadn't actually been the one to say that, as correct as it was. The girl who was behind him and currently holding her hands over his eyes was the culprit. Dave immediately had a flashback of the previous night. He knew that voice even though she'd only said one sentence previously. Forcefully moving her hands so that he could turn around and look at her, Dave's guess turned out to be correct.

She flashed him a coy pout. "You were supposed to guess who I was."

"Those are usually the rules of these things." Marty quipped, regaining his voice from the initial shock of the new entrant. "I think Dave is disqualified."

The girl chuckled and smiled at Marty. Her teeth contrasted strongly against her black lipstick and pale skin. "I couldn't agree more. I like him." She replied with a wink.

"But she didn't technically say to guess." Todd pointed out with a toothy grin.

"Hand over the eyes implies you have to guess. There are rules for these things!" Marty protested.

Meanwhile, Dave had been not only trying to comprehend this situation but also trying to put his finger on what was different about her. It then hit him that she had some of her black hair up in pigtails while the rest of it stayed down. It had a very anime look to it. Last night it was all down. Why he was paying attention to this right now was anyone's guess.

"Who's your friend?" Todd asked without knowing that everyone, including Dave, wanted to know the answer to that particular question.

But for some reason Dave was flustered and blanked, actually trying to answer the question. This wasn't helped by the girl looking at him impatiently as if he had damned well better know her name.

"Go on." She urged, crossing her arms. This only got a chorus of snickers from Marty and Todd.

This was so much easier when she had a knife. Now _he_ was the deer in the headlights.

"Hailey." She finally said for him. Hailey then held Dave's jaw and moved his mouth like a puppet as she repeated, "Haaaaaaaileeeeeeeey."

This only made Marty and Todd laugh even harder. "That's not even that hard of a name to remember." Todd chuckled.

"Yeah, I was expecting something like…Azaleana…remina…lichenstein." Marty stated, visibly proud of the name that he made up on the spot, before adding, "The third."

"Was that a whole name or a really long first name?" Hailey asked, curiously.

"Yes." Marty answered, smirking again.

"Bet you can't say all that again." Hailey smiled, leaning on Dave's shoulders.

"I could if I wanted to, but I'm not trying to show off too much." Marty smirked. "Bro code 101."

"Gotta respect the code." Todd echoed.

"Would you guys just…excuse me for a sec?" Dave said suddenly, grabbing Hailey by the wrist and pulling her away.

"It was nice meeting you!" Hailey waved back at Marty and Todd before eagerly hugging Dave's arm as they walked away.

Dave tried his best to ignore the fact that the way Hailey was clinging to him allowed him to feel her boobs on his arm. He could even feel her bra through the thin material of her black halter top. He tried to focus on the matter at hand and took the two of them to the hallway to the bathroom and forcefully pushed her against the wall. He had fully intended to read her the riot act. To see exactly what the Hell her deal was. Unfortunately he wasn't able to say much considering Hailey immediately wrapped her arms around Dave's neck and kissed him.

Hailey moaned loudly, taking advantage of Dave's gasp and seizing his tongue with hers. It felt like her hands were everywhere. His hair, up and down his back, grabbing his ass, if she could reach it, she was touching it. Dave moaned as well, kissing her back. It was hard not to go along with that much…enthusiasm… His hands instinctively rested on her hips, feeling the frills of her black skirt and depending on how she moved, the silkiness of the tights she wore under them. All things considered, it took him a moment to remember the actual situation.

"What the fuck is your damage?!" Dave growled, prying Hailey off of him.

Hailey blinked, looking at Dave like he'd asked her why she had hair on her head. "I thought that's what you wanted when you pulled me away from…your friends…"

"Did we have a conversation that I don't remember us having that made you think this was okay? Why are you even here?"

Hailey blew out a frustrated puff of air. "Oh so you're the only one who can come here on a Wednesday? I saw you when I came in and…you told me to make better decisions…so I am…with you. It's not like you weren't enjoying it…"

"That's besides the-" Dave's words were cut off when he felt Hailey grabbing his crotch. He let out a visible gulp, acknowledging that she got the drop on _him_ this time, mentally cursing himself for dropping his guard.

"Relax…" Hailey purred, her grip becoming more concentrated on a specific part of his crotch, stroking it through his jeans. "I think it should be pretty clear by now that I don't want to hurt you."

Dave shuddered, just as aroused as he was confused. "What do you want?"

Hailey gave him another 'Really?' expression and smiled widely at him, making more of a presentation of the way she was stroking him. "Sorry, I thought you knew the mechanics. Okay, I'm going to take _this_ big boy…" She squeezed him playfully and then showed off an impressive amount of flexibility, lifting one of her legs and resting it on Dave's shoulder.

She then drew his attention between her legs, gripping the delicate material of her tights and ripping them, exposing her white panties and sliding her finger under them. "…and I'm going to put it in _here_. And I'm going to keep putting it in there over and over until it goes from feeling good to feeling _really_ good…"

Taking her fingers out of her panties, Hailey suggestively licked them. "And _then_ I'm going to lick it all up for you like a good girl." Hailey was moaning so much as she said all of this that Dave wasn't entirely sure that they weren't already fucking. "Is that more clear?"

Dave visibly gulped for a different reason this time. It didn't help his distraction when she grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast with a predatory grin. "Those are…not small…" He muttered more to himself than anyone else, having significantly more than a handful to deal with.

"Nope. Wanna know what else isn't small?" Hailey bit her bottom lip as she reached down and unzipped Dave's pants.

It took Dave's lust addled brain a little longer to realize she was completely serious about this. Hailey was planning on the two of them fucking right here, right now in the back hallway of the comic book store. It was a miracle no one had seen them already. This wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be a quick intimidation and then her leaving, not…whatever was happening here.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Dave protested. Though he quickly realized he just couldn't continue a conversation with Hailey's leg on his shoulder like that. It just didn't work. So Dave moved her foot, taking them out of the pseudo-sex position.

"Oh come on…I know you want to…" Hailey attempted to move forward again, her lips teasing Dave's neck, giving him an involuntary shudder.

"Even if I _did_ , I wouldn't do it here, it'd be in the back." He was able to gasp, separating them again.

This response made Hailey's head jerk back suddenly. "Oh…wow…guys usually don't want to fuck me there right off the bat…and here I thought you were shy…"

Dave blanked, trying to figure out what she was talking about. It was clear when he got it because a very noticeable blush colored his cheek. "I didn't-…I meant the back of the store…"

"Oh my God, you are so adorable and _kinky_ at the same time." Hailey squealed. "I love it!"

Once again, Dave was taken back by Hailey's lips kissing his again. He might have gotten lost in it again if someone hadn't passed by them muttering for them to get a room. It was a jolt of surprise that reminded Dave of why this was so fucked up, public place notwithstanding.

"You tried to rob me!" Dave growled. "Last night. _Literally_ , last night!"

Hailey sighed, letting herself be pushed back again. "I…I know. I'm sorry, okay? That's all I can say to that. I was desperate and I made a bad choice…"

"What would you have done if I hadn't given you my shit?" Dave muttered, crossing his arms.

"I wouldn't have killed you or anything…" She mumbled, uncomfortably. "I picked you because you were so tired and weak… or at least you seemed weak. You're a lot bigger close up. But you were just an easy mark. It wasn't personal."

"And that makes it right?" Dave sighed.

Hailey let out another sigh, her buzz obviously being blown. "Who are you to get all moral and speechy on me? Kick Ass?"

Dave's eyes bulged at the accusation. Once more he was taken off balance. It was only when he saw Hailey's reaction to his that he realized how much he fucked up with that hesitation.

" _Are_ you Kick Ass?" Hailey asked, with an amused tone.

"No…" Dave mumbled. Technically he supposed he should have said his Dad was, but…he hated doing that. It was basically admitting to himself that he was the reason his father was dead. He tried to just…avoid the subject.

"Oh wow…that explains _everything_. Also, you're a horrible liar. Just…don't bother. I think I like you even more now, Not-Kick Ass."

Dave growled again. This was just getting frustrating now. They were just going in circles. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the emergency exit. It was how he and Katie would get out when they wanted to 'use' the back. No one went back there and if you put something in the door then you could come back in after you were done. But this conversation was really getting into not safe for public levels and that was the only place he could think of off the top of his head that was immediately accessible. He didn't know what it was going to take but he needed to get this girl away from him.

* * *

Dave didn't even know how this happened. He really didn't. The logistics literally boggled his mind. When he played it over in his head, he just couldn't see how point A had gotten to point B. This was the _exact_ opposite of getting Hailey away from him. Sure, it felt amazing but that was beside the point. He needed to tell her to stop this right now. That or he needed to forcibly pull her lips off of his dick. One of the two.

Unfortunately, the brain on Dave's shoulders refused to play ball. His body shuddered in pleasure as Hailey's head bobbed up and down on his cock. The hands that were supposed to be pushing her away were wrapped in her hair, moaning as her own moans vibrated through him. The more he allowed, the more he was rewarded for it. The way that her head twisted with each thrust was pure bliss.

Hailey grinned up at him, slowly stroking his shaft with her hands, teasing the head of his cock with her tongue. She had him now and she knew it. "Do you…just want my mouth? Or…" She let the sentence hang, her tongue expertly going up and down the length of his cock, reveling in how it throbbed and pulsed for her. It was such a delicious tease. It was driving Dave wild.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and reached 'fuck it', quite literally. Hailey grunted as she was pushed on the wall, looking back at Dave with a needy expression, licking her lips. "Come on, Not-Kick Ass. Give it to me!" She taunted, only to get exactly what she wanted as Dave moved her panties to the side and thrust balls deep, pounding her pussy relentlessly right from the start.

Hailey's body arched awkwardly at first to the sudden penetration, letting out a loud moan and then grabbing Dave's hand, forcing him to cover her mouth so that every other noise she made was muffled. She quickly found Dave's pace and matched it, rolling her hips and giving as good as she got. The hand that wasn't covering Hailey's mouth impatiently lifted her top and bra, grabbing her bare breast almost possessively. Dave assumed Hailey was saying 'yes' over and over into his hand the more he fucked her but he wasn't sure and part of him didn't care. She was _obviously_ willing.

There had been too much teasing and to be honest, too much time that he'd only had his hand to do this for him. He just wanted a release. It reminded him of his first time with Night Bitch. There was a certain freedom when you knew the girl you were fucking just wanted your dick and nothing else. They didn't personally know you. It was an almost primal arousal. All that mattered in that moment was the sex. Just insatiable, panting, sweaty fucking.

Hailey tried to say something to Dave again, though despite her frantic demeanor in trying to get her point across, she made no motion to move his hands from her mouth. Her message became clear when her body violently shuddered, bucking wildly and her muffled moans becoming a scream as the orgasm rocked through her petite form. She might have been hitting the wall with the force of the thrusting if it weren't for the way her arms were bracing herself. After she came, this became noticeably more difficult for her, as well as staying upright at all.

Hailey's muffled moans were just as animalistic as Dave's. It was like they'd momentarily lost their minds in the pleasure. Freeing her lips from Dave's hand, she said the first words that he could actually understand. "Please! Please cum! Cum! Cum! Fill me like the slut I am, you bastard! Give it to me! I want it all!" Through the pounding, she was able to look back at Dave, their eyes locking onto each other and the wild, lustful desperation clear in her eyes.

Dave couldn't help but to give into the demand. He squeezed Hailey against him as he finally got his release and then some, the explosive orgasm making him throw back his head, his body shaking and trembling as he filled Hailey with more and more of his warm load, her own moans begging him for more until he had no more to give. The two of them just stood there, barely able to do even _that_ much, chasing each breath like they'd just finished running a marathon and using the other to remain upright.

Dave groaned as he felt his cock pulling mercifully from its warm resting place as Hailey sank to her knees. He'd thought that her legs had simply given out on her but it became clear pretty quickly that she merely wasn't done with him yet.

His cock was claimed by her mouth again as she frantically licked and sucked the length of his shaft, pumping it with her hands as if she'd die if even a drop of Dave's cum didn't end up inside of her one way or another. Dave was barely able to stay standing with the oral onslaught. "Fuuuuuck…" He moaned, the only thing his brain could get out to express what he was feeling. Hailey only released him when she was satisfied that she'd gotten it all, looking up to him with a smile.

It was infectious. He found himself smiling back and caressing her cheek, which she contently nuzzled against. Dave let out another breath as he helped her back up and the two got themselves situated again, still a bit uneasy on their feet. Dave wasn't entirely sure what to say now. 'Thanks, that was awesome.' seemed kind of…douchey.

So they remained silent and returned to Marty and Todd as if they hadn't obviously left to fuck and came back. Marty, of course, couldn't let that go. "Wow…you guys were gone a while. Not really long…but a while. I don't know how you tell time but that was definitely not a 'sec'," This got a snicker from Todd.

"If we were 'gone' any longer I think I'd have died." Hailey mumbled, exhausted, not even caring that she blatantly had 'I've just been fucked by a caveman' hair. She just rested her head on Dave's shoulder and hugged his arm.

"I could tell. You were walking a little bowlegged." Marty teased.

"Get used to it. Don't think I'll be walking straight anytime soon." This got a round of laughter as it seemed that Dave had literally fucked the swagger out of her and now she was just a witty, sleepy mass in a skirt.

Dave, on the other hand, was just trying to will himself not to blush. He and Katie had fucked back there multiple times, but never _that_ frantic. At least they could pretend that they'd just left or had gone to the bathroom at the same time or something. If he hadn't had the need to sit down for an extended period, he might not have come back. Instead, they sat and lazily talked about comics while Hailey drifted in and out of sleep and Marty made as many double entendres that he could think of. And how many double entendres could Marty come up with in this situation?

The answer…infinite.


	2. Chapter 2

_(A/N: And here we are. This chapter is out a lot quicker than I'd originally planned, so there's that. This also gets very comic book heavy, but I'm hoping you'll see what I was doing with all of the information as well as hoping that people who don't read comics will still be able to understand everything that's said, more or less. In any matter, as always, let me know what you think about the chapter. Hopefully the next one will be up pretty quickly as well.)_

Kick Ass sighed, looking down at the alley. He had to admit that whenever he went on patrols, he missed how things used to be. It had been so simple. Kick Ass was the 'it' thing. He was in the public eye. People just sent him problems that he needed to take care of and he picked and chose the ones he thought he could handle. Simple. Easy. But he just couldn't do that anymore. The best he could do was physically patrol, looking for trouble.

This probably wouldn't be irritating if it weren't for the fact that he also had to do it by himself, in secret. He'd been lucky so far, not running into the cops. Which was also the reason he couldn't find crimes through the police band. If cops were already on the way, then he couldn't be there. In fact, he did his best to make sure that as few people saw him as possible. Everyone knew Kick Ass was dead and he needed to become a rumor if he was going to keep doing it. Villains were a superstitious and cowardly lot and all of that. That's one of the things that made Big Daddy and Hit Girl so effective. They were ghosts. And that's what he needed to become.

And to be fair, it was pretty effective so far. He'd been saving people as he could and when people spoke about him, it was like one would a ghost. Others thought it was a new person. And some thought they were making it up. The upgraded costume probably helped. It almost seemed ridiculous that he used to go out in just a slightly modified wetsuit.

He sighed again. Usually on slow nights, there were drug dealers or gangbangers here or something. That was the good thing about alleys. If it's dark enough and far enough from the city that you can get away with it, then it usually attracts the scum. Though maybe he had been a little too successful here and they were going elsewhere. If nothing happened soon, he might do another pass and then just call it a night.

He sensed it before he heard it. Instinctively reaching behind him to grab his batons and turning around, ready to attack. His eyes bulged when he recognized who was on the rooftop with him. "What…the fuck are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm sorry…" Hailey smirked, sitting down next to where Dave had been. "Do I know you? I know someone who insisted to me that he wasn't Kick Ass, but surely that isn't _you_."

The sarcasm was so thick in Hailey's words that even trying to refute it was pointless, especially since he already made it clear that he knew her. This was really starting to piss him off. Not only that this was the third straight time she'd snuck up on him, but that she keeps throwing him off his game. "So what's your excuse for how you found me on a random rooftop?"

"Did you know your voice cracks in the most adorable way when you get excited over something?" Hailey asked, looking coyly over her shoulder. Now that he was getting a better look at her, he saw that Hailey had her hair in a ponytail this time. She was leaning back on her hands, almost as if purposely pushing out her chest as well as her visible midriff, due to the form fitting red tube top which almost made her short leather jacket pointless. At least she was wearing pants this time.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Dave growled.

"Kick Ass's voice did the same thing in his first video. You know…the first Kick Ass. The dead one…" Hailey gave Dave a cautious look.

Dave was fully aware what she was implying, but he merely narrowed his eyes. "Your point?"

"Did you know him?" Hailey looked down at the alley again. "The…first Kick Ass?"

Dave sighed again, sitting down. He hated thinking of this. The picture Chris sent him still haunted him over a year later. "…yeah…I knew him…"

"He must have loved you a lot…"

"Yeah…can we change the subject?" Dave muttered. "Like what are you doing here? How did you get here? Any of those?"

"I just…I wanted to see you." Hailey sighed. "I know it's stupid. And I know I'm breaking the rules and everything…"

"Rules? What rules?" Dave asked, with a confused expression.

Hailey gave him a look and then rolled her eyes. "Do I really have to spell it out? I mean…you didn't even want my number for a booty call afterwards…" She sighed again, looking down. "…I know what it means when a guy fucks a girl like that… I get it. And it's okay. I just…wanted to…thank you, I guess… It might not have seemed like it to you, but…you were nice to me when you really didn't have to be…and had no reason to be…I don't get that a lot…but…I know how I came across, and that's fine. I get you not really wanting to see me anymore. You seem like a genuinely nice guy, and…I know I don't come across as…nice… I just…really wanted to _see_ you again…that's all… As I said…stupid…"

There was a long pause and then Dave sighed, turning to Hailey. "It's not stupid… Do you have your phone on you?"

"Yeah…" Hailey murmured. "Why?" She looked up to see Dave with his hand out, waiting patiently and reached in her pocket to hand it to him.

Dave punched in a few things into the phone and handed it back. "There, you have my number now."

Hailey took the phone back and looked at it, letting out an odd sounding laugh. "I didn't mean to guilt trip you into that. If you want me to delete it, I'll understand…"

"You're giving me more credit than I deserve…" Dave stated, looking down on the alley again. "I don't have enough experience with girls be as subtle as you think I'm being. I've never asked anyone for their number before so I don't even see it as an option if I'm being honest."

Hailey laughed again. "Riiiiiight…You're cute…you're _Kick Ass_ …and if I'm being honest…a really good fuck. You really expect me to believe girls don't throw themselves at you?"

"Did I _act_ like girls throw themselves at me?" Dave rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well…" Hailey smirked. "I thought that was because we were in public. So…does that mean you don't have a girlfriend…now?"

"My first girlfriend dumped me because of a misunderstanding…my second one dumped me because my enemies almost beat her to death…and…-"

"Your third girlfriend?" Hailey urged, obviously intrigued.

"She wasn't my girlfriend. She was just…it's complicated. She left though…"

"Why?" Hailey asked.

Dave chuckled a little. "Because she killed a bunch of guys with a gun she stole off of a cop."

"Oh…" Hailey said, "Did they deserve it?"

"They were going to feed me to a shark." Dave said matter-of-factly.

"Oh…that's a good friend."

"She is." Dave replied, thoughtfully. "So what's your deal?"

Hailey's eyes widened. "My deal? About what?"

"How you keep sneaking up on me for one…" Dave mumbled.

"My mother was a carny. Knife throwing, bearded ladies, acrobats, that's what I grew up around. It's really easy to pick up stuff when you're surrounded by it."

Dave raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And what about your father?"

"Basketball player."

"…seriously?"

"Not a very good one. He never actually made the pros or anything. But after a game one day he went to the carnival and met my mom. It was love at first tightrope walk. I was conceived in the house of mirrors that very day. I can never go in one now. Just gives me the heebie jeebies."

Dave blinked, another awkward silence filling the air. "How…much of that was true?"

Hailey smirked, looking down at the alley again. "All of it…none of it…I didn't actually get to know my parents."

"Oh…"

"My stepparents were nice enough." Hailey swung her legs casually as she spoke. "Until my stepdad died and I was stuck my stepmother and my two evil stepsisters."

Dave tried to pinch the bridge of his nose, but was unable to due to the nature of his mask. "So…you're either a pathological liar…or you're telling me to mind my own business…"

"Neither." Hailey said, still looking down. "Have you ever read 'The Killing Joke'?"

"Of course I have." Dave rolled his eyes.

"Remember how the Joker said that he remembers his past one way and sometimes another?"

Dave chuckled. "If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice."

Hailey nodded, an oddly serious look on her face. "Yeah…"

"So…does that mean that you actually remember your past differently or you will yourself to?" Dave asked.

"Does it matter?" Hailey mumbled.

"So I'm never going to get straight answers out of you?"

"Depends on what you ask…" She said with a shrug.

"How'd you get so flexible?"

"My mother wanted me to be a ballerina." Hailey replied.

"Aren't you a little…um…" Dave glances at Hailey's chest and merely pointed. "Wouldn't those get in the way?"

"That's what I said!" Hailey exclaimed. "But she insisted. So, she tied me up to one of those leg stretch things in Kickboxer."

Dave winced slightly. "That scene always makes me cringe. Even when he can take the pain."

"It really wasn't pleasant…" Hailey murmured.

"I think…" Dave's eyes narrowed. "There was some truth in that one…"

"How do you know there wasn't some truth in all of them?" Hailey said, with a sigh. "You sure you want me to have your number?"

"I can always get a new phone." Dave replied, smirking.

Hailey laughed, and turned to Dave again. "So…what are you plans for the rest of the night?"

Dave shrugged. "I was going to patrol for bit longer and then I was going to head home."

"If I…told you where I lived…would you want to…stop by on the way?" Hailey muttered. "Notice how I avoided asking you where your place was?"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Yours would be better anyway. I don't have a place of my own."

Hailey's eyes bulged and she looked as if she were going to say something but then thought better of it. "Good luck on your patrolling. If you die, I'll avenge you."

Dave chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

The patrol remained uneventful so Dave just called it a night. Getting his bag out of its hiding place in one of the alleys and putting his mask into the bag. After sliding on a trenchcoat over his costume, he left the alley, getting changed in the nearest public bathroom. It wasn't pretty but it was the backup for when he wasn't sure he should go to the safehouse or not.

There was a voice in his head telling him to just go to Marty's and to go to sleep. He'd just tell Hailey he was tired. Simple. But her weird secrecy just intrigued him. He shook his head at himself and looked at his phone at the instructions she texted him. She didn't live far at all. He was there in no time, fidgeting a bit after she buzzed him into the complex and he got to her apartment number, knocking on the door.

Dave's eyes bulged as the door opened. Hailey's hair was in full pigtails this time and she was wearing an oversized pink shirt. Like whenever you see a girl in one of those, you wonder exactly how much she's wearing under there. It was pretty clear she wasn't wearing a bra. Other than that it was up to his imagination. It also reminded him that he'd never actually seen Hailey naked. He raised his eyebrows slightly as he saw what was on the shirt.

"I saw you as more of a Rainbow Dash kind of girl."

Hailey blinked and looked down at her shirt with a giggle. "Pinky Pie is Best Girl as far as I'm concerned. Didn't see you as a brony."

Dave chuckled. "I'm not. Todd lets it slip enough that I know the characters."

Hailey laughed and stepped to the side. "Come in."

Dave couldn't help but to look around a bit. It was surprisingly normal. Couch, TV, side tables, a few plants, the usual. He could see the small kitchen from the living room and a few closed doors.

"Was half expecting you to be in costume when you came here." Hailey smirked, curling up on the couch and parting the cushion next to her.

Dave laughed softly, accepting the invitation and sitting down. "That would be a great idea if I wanted to get arrested." He sighed, remembering back when he could walk down the street. "They pretty much still arrest anyone in costume."

"Halloween was so much fun with that." Hailey laughed, shifting her weight to lean against him.

"That and comic book conventions." Dave rolled his eyes.

"I've never really been to one, believe it or not." Hailey stated, casually. "Not too big on crowds."

"You wanted to fuck in a comic book store." Dave pointed out, looking at her.

"That's different." Hailey smirked, using her new position to lean up and kiss him. It was nice to not actually have to fight it and just enjoy the intimacy. She could tell he felt the same way. There wasn't any resistance and he wasn't a wild sex fiend, it was a very pleasant middle ground of just…nice.

Dave moaned as Hailey kissed along his jaw, and slowly down his neck, her fingers reaching for his pants. To her surprise, Dave grabbed her wrists, stopping her progress. She wondered if she'd done something wrong but when she looked up, he was smiling.

"How about…we talk a bit first?" He asked, warmly.

"Talk?" Hailey repeated as if Dave had started talking another language.

"Okay look," Dave started, "The last girl I was…with…was a superhero, like me. We were part of a team. We'd go out, kick some criminal ass and then we'd fuck. And then…she got hurt and I couldn't really say anything when she said that we weren't actually serious… It was just sex. I never really knew her. If we're going to do this, I just…want to get to know you."

Hailey blinked and then sat up, straddling Dave's lap. "So my father was an astronaut, who got caught in a fifth dimensional rip in time that centered entirely around my bedroom and-" Hailey giggled as Dave covered her mouth with a sigh.

"Not your past. Your present. Like…I'm in school. Sometimes I have to take night classes. What do you do when you're not appearing out of nowhere behind me?" after he said his peace, Dave let Hailey go.

"I'm a prostitute." Hailey said, casually.

Dave's eyes bulged at first but then he quickly rolled them. "In what sense?

"I work in retail." She sighed. "I sell shit, I use my body to sell more shit. Same difference."

"Where do you work?" Dave asked, curiously.

"Where do you go to school?" Hailey shot back.

Dave coughed awkwardly, his bluff being called, since he sure as Hell didn't want her popping in randomly when he was in class. "No college?"

Hailey rolled her eyes. "That would imply I finished high school." She then let out a gasp and a moan as Dave kissed her neck.

"I completely believe that one." Dave stated, smiling.

"Is that what we're doing?" Hailey asked, amused. "If you believe me, I get a kiss?"

"If I believe you completely, yes."

"So I'm your pet now?" Hailey moved her body closer to Dave's, purposely making sure her breasts were pressing against his chest. "If I'm a good girl, I get a treat?"

Dave laughed, unable to keep from glancing down since the closer she moved, the more she pulled down the front of her shirt, making her cleavage more and more visible. "I'm just…giving you…incentive to be honest with me. I haven't even started with the hardball questions yet."

Hailey's eyes widened in excitement. "Hardball questions? Ooo like what? How old I am? How much I weigh? My cup size?"

Dave chuckled, grinning mischievously. "Actually, I was going to ask DC or Marvel?"

Hailey threw back her head in a loud, booming laugh. It made…parts of her jiggle…a lot… "I read a lot of the big two so that I know what's going on, but in my heart…I'm an independents girl."

"Oh shit, okay, I see how it is. High maintenance." Dave laughed.

"I'm worth it." She replied, with a smirk.

Dave tried to hide his blush. "Okay then, next big question. Favorite superhero and why?"

"Favorite superhero? Or favorite character?" Hailey countered.

"Oh?" Dave leaned back slightly, intrigued. "Now you have to do both."

Hailey chuckled, looking up thoughtfully. "Favorite character…is Death, of the Endless."

Dave nodded. "Nice…you could totally cosplay as her."

Hailey smiled coyly. "I do own a skintight catsuit…"

"We…are coming back to that…but why her, short of her general awesomeness?"

"Well…I like that you'd think that…the god of Dreams would be very happy and carefree…and that the god of Death would be scary and broody… I love that they did the opposite. She loves what she does because of her unique perspective on death itself. It's nothing scary, it's just…the next thing… My favorite line of hers is when she reaps the man who lived for millennia after millennia and he asked her if it was a good run for a life, because it was so long."

Dave laughed. "And she said something like, you lived a lifetime, just like everyone else."

"She's such a great character…"

"I'm a Dementia guy, myself." Dave stated.

Hailey unleashed another jiggly laugh. "Yeah…of _course_ you'd like her."

"It's just so much fun, especially when she's with Dream. The opposites work so well. But enough about that, what about your favorite superhero?"

"The Darkness." Hailey replied, immediately. "Jackie Estacado, of course."

Dave chuckled. "All about the dark characters I see."

"He regrew his entire body from the darkness inside of a cavity. He grew his whole body from a _tooth_ , man! Let's see Deadpool or Wolverine pull off that shit! And I love his character. He does such evil shit but he has a code. There are lines he won't cross. He'd fucking reap unholy carnage on an army in the most gruesome ways you can imagine but he's also the nicest guy you'd ever meet. I love the contrast. And the fact that he can even _be_ that nice considering his powers mean he can't fuck anyone only proves that more."

"See…" Dave started. "I never got that. He made this big deal about if he fucks a girl and gets her pregnant then he dies. But he has at least two other ways off the top of my head for a girl to get him off that would have no risk of that."

"He's not always the most imaginative when it comes to alternative sex, I'll give you that. Or he just likes the pussy and the pussy alone. Doesn't make him any less awesome. He does find ways around that later though."

"However…nice guy or not, that doesn't make him a super _hero_ though. Mob boss. Dictatorship of a third world country. A superhero wants not these things." Dave said cockily.

Hailey scowled. "Oh, fuck you. If I'd have said Deadpool or Harley, you wouldn't have said shit."

"I would have. I'm an equal opportunity nitpicker."

Hailey growled but got thoughtful again. "Fine…okay…then…I guess…Max Damage."

"Are you making him up?" Dave asked, suspiciously.

Hailey shook her head, beaming ear to ear, obviously happy that she knew someone Dave didn't. "It's from Boom! Studios. Basically, a reformed villain. Like…imagine Superman flipped his shit and went evil and Lobo said, 'Well, shit. Guess I have to be a good guy now,' It's pretty much that."

"Wait…" Dave started. "That sounds like he's more of a bad guy taking on a corrupted superhero than an actual good guy."

Hailey shook her head, still grinning. "Just taking him out isn't good enough. He felt that the world needed a legitimate hero. He had to rebuild his morals from the ground up. He started with doing the polar opposite of his instincts…and following the law, of course. You have to respect someone who sees a need and completely changes himself to fit that need."

"I might have to look into that. What does he do?"

Hailey shrugs. "The basics. Super strength, invulnerability, healing. But the catch is he gets stronger the longer he stays awake. As soon as he sleeps, it resets to normal human."

"So, what?" Dave chuckled, "He wakes up weak every morning?"

"He goes weeks without sleeping. He only sleeps when his body starts shutting down and hallucinating and shit…"

"I don't think I could ever stay up long enough to get to that point."

"It's really surreal…" Hailey replied, her voice a bit far off. "Sometimes it can still be better than what waits for you when you finally do sleep…"

There was an awkward pause, and then Dave kissed Hailey's neck again, pulling her shirt enough to reach her shoulder before he stopped. You could see the blended lust and shock on Hailey's face until she remembered the deal, and flashed Dave a slightly self-conscious smirk.

"Do you have it here? The Max Damage comic I mean?" Dave asked, looking around to see if he could find any long boxes.

"Incorruptible." Hailey clarified, but then she shook her head. "I don't let people read my comics though. Nothing personal. That's why I didn't take you to my room."

"You cleaned up before I got here and all the mess is in there, isn't it?" Dave teased, playfully.

"It's where I keep the bodies." Hailey smirked.

Dave chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Bodies? That's it?"

"And my crazy girl shrine of you."

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Like one of those little ones with the candles and shit?"

"Oh no." Hailey had a faux look of shock. "You're worth more than that. You're pretty much all over my walls. Working on the ceiling."

Dave shook his head, with a chuckle. "Anyway… so your favorite characters are the personification of Death, a guy with evil, gruesome powers that battles with the morality of being a nice guy and being able to do really fucked up things, and a bad guy who had to rewrite his entire morality. Short of Death, you really like your flawed characters, don't you?"

Hailey nodded. "They're more interesting to me. I like someone who has so much power but their life is just as shitty as anyone else's. Not everyone can just know the right thing to do all the time, you know? I like a fuck-up."

"The Comedian was your favorite Watchmen, wasn't he?" Dave asked, suddenly.

"Rorschach, bitch." Hailey rolled her eyes.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Dave exclaimed, giving Hailey a high five.

"Any other questions, oh Inquisitive One?" Hailey asked, amused.

"Let's see…" Dave started, thoughtfully. "So you like flawed characters, right? So you liked New 52 Superman?"

Hailey rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated growl. "No. I hated it. Superman is… _Superman_! He's not supposed to be flawed. He exists as what all heroes should be looking up to. Flawed heroes should look up to him as something that they'll never attain but they have to at least attempt it. If Superman is just as flawed and messed up as the rest of us, it's like…if God was just a regular dude watching us from the sky. Why would anyone worship that? Why would anyone look up to a Superman who doesn't represent the best humanity can be?"

Dave nodded with a chuckle. "I couldn't agree with you more actually."

"Sorry…I didn't mean to rant..."

Dave reached out, running his fingers through her hair. "It's okay. Rants are good."

Hailey appeared to be blushing slightly and decided to change the subject. "Speaking of Superman…I have something to say that you won't like." She then proceeded to hug him tightly, her lips no more than an inch from his. He could feel her breath just as easily as she could feel his.

"Afraid I'm going to run? Because if the bodies and the shrine didn't scare me…"

"I really liked electric blue Superman." Hailey interrupted.

"…fuck this, I'm out." Dave immediately started trying to pry Hailey off of him.

"I thought it was an interesting way to mix things up and leave his personality intact." Hailey defended, doing her best koala impression as Dave tried to stand up and it only caused them both to fall on the floor in a fit of giggles.

Hailey found herself on top of Dave again just as close to his lips as she was before, the silence between them not awkward this time, but charged. "You're pretty." Dave stated.

"…wha…?" Hailey cocked her head to the side.

Dave chuckled. "I don't think I actually said it before…but I just thought you'd want to know. You're beautiful."

Hailey's look into Dave's eye became so intense, that he felt like he could actually feel it. "Your exes…and the other girl…they were stupid to let you go. I won't be making the same mistake."

They just stared at each other for an undefined period of time before Hailey smirked and sat up, pulling off her shirt, revealing that she was wearing only a black thong underneath. And with that invitation, Dave pounced.

Needless to say…Dave was late for class the following day.


	3. Chapter 3

_(A/N: Okay, so…this…is about to get a bit…weird… Probably the best warning I can give you without spoilers. Some of you might have caught some hints in the previous chapters, but just know you're not in this alone. Dave is going right through it with you. Please keep your arms and legs inside the fic at all times and enjoy your ride.)_

"Cinderella? Cinderella?! Seriously?" Marty looked at Hailey over his glasses. "Look, I'm trying to have respect for you here…"

"Think about it though." Hailey defended. "A random magical woman just shows up and for nothing, gives Cinderella everything her heart desires. Or sentient magic bird at her mother's tree grave if you want to get technical. That shit doesn't make any sense."

"You're the one who just said she was a badass." Marty countered.

Hailey lifted a finger. "Wait for it. See…it doesn't make sense, unless of course, things aren't what they appear to be on the surface. I think that the fairy godmother was actually a demon and Cinderella sold her soul to the devil for power. The prince was just means to an end. If you read the original, the birds that do what Cinderella wants become more and more ruthless as the story goes on. The last thing they do is pluck out the stepsisters' eyes."

"Cold blooded." Dave chuckled, receiving a kiss on the forehead from Hailey, who was currently sitting on his lap. It was almost eerie how seamlessly she'd slipped into their trio and their stupid discussions on things at their hangout at Atomic Comics.

"I know, right? _Think_ about it. The Prince is a total dumbass and that includes all versions of him. He goes off of shoe size instead of just looking at their damn face, and _talking_ to them. He's _especially_ stupid in the original story, when both stepsisters were able to trick him back to back into thinking they fit the shoe. So when Cinderella and the Prince are married, Cinderella is obviously the one who's actually running the kingdom. Poor little girl who can control birds…or mice or whatever, sells her soul, becomes rich bitch with power. Equals badass."

"Any retorts?" Dave asked, holding an imaginary microphone to Marty.

Marty groaned, unable to fully accept defeat. "I don't know though, Jasmine has a fucking tiger. And access to a genie."

Hailey shook her head. "Cinderella has access to Hell, man. She's like Malificent but less obvious about it." This received laughter all around the table.

"She's got voodoo, she's got hoodoo, she's got things she hasn't even tried…" Dave said, with a smirk.

"I see what you did there!" Hailey exclaimed, an excited look on her face and a point.

"Elsa would beat both of them." Todd muttered.

"Original princesses, dude." Marty groaned. "Original. If it's after Pocahontas then it doesn't count. Wait…how did we even get started on Disney Princesses?"

"I was talking about the Grimm Fairy Tales comic, and how much I love how they twist Disney films, and princesses for that matter." Hailey smirked. "You're the one who made it a competition. Do _not_ get into a fairy tale war with me, little boy. I will ruin your childhood. Do not get me started on how Pinocchio is _obviously_ possessed and what Jiminy Cricket has to be. Conscience, my ass."

"Actually, that one I agree with you on." Marty replied with a laugh. "And who are you calling little boy? You're not that much older than me."

Dave immediately groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew what was coming.

Hailey's eyes widened, a wide grin crossing her lips. "How do you know I'm not that much older than you? Maybe I just age very well. Maybe, I defend Cinderella so much because I _am_ Cinderella. Could have wished for immortality along with power, _lit-tle-boooooy_. How do you know?"

"Because…" Marty paused, mid-point, obviously trying to come up with a good one. "Boobs didn't come in that size back then."

The table roared in laughter, but as soon as they regained themselves, Hailey countered. "How do you know they aren't fake?"

Dave immediately let out a weird snort/laugh, which erupted the table again.

"I guess that answers _that_ question." Marty got out through his laughter.

"Don't…Don't listen to him." Hailey waved in Dave's general direction. "He doesn't know anything."

"I'm pretty sure I know more about your boobs than you do." Dave replied, with a grin.

"Psh!" Hailey scoffed. "If you honestly think you feel my boobs more than I do, you are _delusional_. These are _my_ girls, I just lend them to you."

"And on _that_ note, we should probably get going." Marty said, wiping the tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

"Oh shit, you're right." Todd exclaimed, looking at the time. "We're still having 'Bro's Night' tonight, right?"

"Yeah, I'm still good." Marty responded.

Hailey immediately pouted. "Why am _I_ not invited to 'Bro's Night'?"

Dave chuckled. "Todd made the ruling when me and Marty both had girlfriends. There has to be a night a week where just the bros hang out."

"But Toooooooodd…I wanna come tooooooooo…" Hailey immediate assaulted Todd with her best cute girl face.

The look on Todd's face showed that he was woefully unprepared for that attack. "I-….i….it's _bro's night_ , dammit!" And he immediately ran out the door, leaving the remaining two guys almost bent over in laughter.

"The Todd, has spoken." Marty laughed, giving the couple a final wave. "Alright, I'll see you guys later."

"Dammit!" Hailey pouted. "I really thought I had him that time."

Dave wrapped his arms around Hailey, kissing her neck. "You'll have to get him when he can't run away."

"You shouldn't give me ideas like that." Hailey replied, giving Dave a mischievous look. It then fell to a more irritated expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Dave…which of your exes is over there, glaring at me?" Hailey asked, with a growl.

Dave's eyes bulged and he looked over to where Hailey had pointed her head and saw a shocked face and a flash of brown hair suddenly covering said face in the distance. "Ah…that would be Katie. The first one." Dave wasn't sure but Hailey might have legitimately snarled.

"Preppy looking bitch." Hailey grumbled. "Bet she doesn't even read comics. What is she even doing here?"

Dave laughed. "She does actually read comics. She was starting to get into them when we started hanging out. And she likes the coffee here, regardless."

"She looks at me like that again and she won't be needing coffee, she'll be needing a body bag."

"Don't joke like that." Dave said, a little bit of concern on his face. This wasn't helped by Hailey immediately snapping back, wide eyed to look at him.

"Why?" She asked, sharply. "Do you still like her?"

"There's a pretty big gap between liking her and wanting her in a body bag." Dave rolled his eyes.

"Do. You. Still. Like. _Her_ …?"

"Geeze, girl. Chill out. I don't know…that's a really loaded question. I liked her for ages and we just…stopped…when she thought I cheated on her. I just…try not to think about it and move on." Dave replied with a shrug.

Hailey closed her eyes and took a very deep breath. "Dave…I remember that you said you don't have a lot of experience with girls. So let me educate you. When your girlfriend asks you if you still have feelings for your ex, 'I don't know' is NOT the answer that she wants to hear."

"You call me on it when I lie…" Dave murmured. "I'm just being honest with you. I don't think about it, so I don't know. I don't think it's important anyway. I'm with you and she dumped me. I'm happy with you. What's the big deal?"

"The 'big deal' is that she's glaring at me, not you." Hailey growled. "If she was pissed because she thought you cheated on her then she'd be glaring at you, if she wants you back and I'm in the way then she's glaring at me, so if you want her back as well then that just might be… _a little bit of a problem for me!_ I don't handle being cheated on very well, Dave."

"No one does." Dave grunted. "She kind of hinted that she cheated on me when she dumped me so…yeah…you don't have anything to worry about there."

Hailey sighed. "I'm trying, Dave. I really am, but you're making me feel very insecure right now. I don't like it."

"I'm _with_ you. I want to be _with_ you. I'm not exactly sure what else you want me to say here…" Dave sighed, rubbing his temples. "Let's get out of here."

"Why?" Hailey grumbled. "Am I embarrassing you?"

"No, I'm just getting a feeling you're about to kill me and I don't want to die in here. The blood would get all over the comics, I'd never be able to live with myself in the afterlife."

Hailey snickered and immediately shot Dave a look. "Don't get all cute with me. Besides…I'd never kill you."

Dave raised a skeptical eyebrow, looking over Hailey's shoulder to get a better look into her face. "Not that I mind, but why?"

Hailey's cheeks suddenly flushed, as she slid off of Dave's lap and stood up. "Remember what I said about Superman...? Well…that's what you are to me…an ideal that I'll never be able to reach, but that I want to try to…My life is infinitely better with you in it… Even the…thought of you being dead… _hurts_ me…"

"Hailey…" Dave stood up and gave Hailey a hug. "I'm just a guy trying to do the right thing. Anyone can do that. Don't put me on a pedestal. Good to know that I don't have to fear for my life though." He winked, leading the two of them out of the store.

"Oh God, no." Hailey smirked. "I'd kill everyone in the universe before I killed you."

Dave stopped, looking back. "Wait…universe? Aliens too?"

Hailey rolled her eyes, stepping out the door. "Three boobed bitches better _not_ look at my man."

"What would I do with three boobs, anyway? I only have two hands."

Hailey gave Dave a look. "You'd use your mouth for the third one, obviously."

Dave stopped immediately, his eyes bulging. "…oh…my… _God_ …why have I not thought about that in all this time?"

"Annnnd they're all dead. Every three boobed alien is officially on my hitlist. I have to commit genocide now." Hailey nodded.

"But I haven't even seen one yet."

Hailey chuckled. "And _now_ you never will…"

* * *

Once they got back to Hailey's apartment, he wasn't sure what to expect. He had a feeling that there was still an argument over Katie that was just hanging over them like the sword of Damocles, but when they get to Hailey's place, they have a habit of fucking like rabbits on the couch or floor or wherever they end up after Hailey pounces on him.

Almost on cue, as soon as Dave sat down, Hailey turned on the TV for background noise and straddled him. "I…thought you were mad at me…" Dave muttered.

Hailey blinked at the statement, staying in Dave's lap but cocking her head to the side in confusion causing the twin buns she'd rolled her hair into to bounce awkwardly. "You…want to argue more?"

"I _hate_ arguing, but if you have an issue, sex isn't going to make it go away. It's going to come back later anyway so just let me have it now." Dave said, shrugging.

Hailey sighed, resting her head on Dave's shoulder. "I…really don't deserve you…I'm sorry…I should…trust you more. You've never given me any reason not to. It's just…the thought of you leaving me drives me crazy. I just can't _handle_ it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself and it just makes me paranoid. Could you just…just…tell me you want to be with me?"

"Because I'm such a bad liar?" Dave asked skeptically, wrapping his arms around her.

"I…just want to hear you say it. I know it sounds desperate, but I don't care. You always make me feel safe and secure, I just-"

"I want to be with you." Dave responded with a warm smile.

The smile was infectious and Hailey couldn't help but to return it. "I love you so much…" You could almost see Hailey rewinding what she said in her head when she saw Dave's wide eyes reaction and then hers immediately mirrored it. "I…didn't mean to say that…outloud. Um…you don't have to say it back, I just…uh…I'm going to suck your dick now and we're going to pretend this didn't happen, okay?"

"Hailey, you don't have t-….ffffffffuuuuuuuuck…." Dave's words were taken away as he threw his head back, his mouth open in a loud moan as Hailey was true to her word. She roughly pulled his pants the rest of the way down, giving her better access as her head bobbed up and down on Dave's cock. She cupped his balls as she went to work, running her tongue up and down his shaft before making it disappear down her throat. Hailey let out a loud moan, making sure he could feel it as she eagerly alternated between sliding Dave's manhood down her throat and swirling her tongue along the head while she stroked it.

"Oh my God…" Dave moaned. When Hailey was this eager there wasn't really much he could do but to just lay back and enjoy it. His hips subtly thrusted as her lips went along the length of his cock but everything else was all her. It was clear when she just wanted to please him. It was so good it almost made his mind foggy. All he could think of was how badly he wanted to cum the more she sucked him. And it was like she wanted him to cum just as much. Dave shuddered slightly when she gagged. Groaning in pleasure, he looked down at her to see that Hailey wasn't looking up at him, her entire focus was on his cock. When she gagged again, he realized why he found that so off, in the fact that she'd never gagged before and this was far from the first time she'd taken his whole cock into her mouth.

"Wait…Hailey…are you crying?" This wasn't 'a dick's down her throat and she can't breathe' crying either, this was full on tears streaming down her face, crying.

Hailey sobbed again and shook her head, trying to hide it in another moan, seeming even more desperate than before. There was such a blend of arousal, guilt and just general…fucked upness that Dave physically held her head. "Hailey...stop…just…stop. Talk to me."

Hailey seemed to cry even harder now that Dave acknowledged it, seeming even more frantic about continuing the blowjob despite Dave literally holding her head away from him so that she couldn't. "Please…just…let me get you off, okay?" When Hailey looked up at him, her eyes were red, wet, and pleading with him. "Just…let me do this for you…"

"…no…" Dave shook his head. "What's going to happen right now is you're going to come up here and I'm going to hug you and you're going to talk to me and tell me what's wrong."

"Dave…" She begged, before Dave met her halfway, joining her on the floor and hugging her. Dave had thought that she was already crying as hard as she could and like quite a few things today he was finding out that he was _very_ wrong. He didn't know how long it had been before she could even talk. And when she tried it was only one word and he wasn't even sure if it was that much because she was immediately assaulted by sobs and even more violent crying.

"This just fucking figures…" She was finally able to get out. "I know the main reason you're even...with me is because I fuck your….brains out and now…now I can't even do _that_ right!"

Dave tried his best not to feel overly awkward when she started crying again, especially since he wasn't able to pull up his pants yet, but to be honest, this was a really weird all around situation for him. "Hailey, I promise you I'm not only dating you because of the sex."

"Bullshit…" Hailey sobbed. "I know how crazy I have to look to you, okay? I know that I'm really weird. I know that people don't say they love someone after a week. I know that the way I reacted to your ex is really fucked up. I know that me being so secretive about shit is really fucking _crazy_. I never let you see my room. I never let you know anything really about me. And…I do want to tell you, Dave. I really do, but if I tell you, then you'll fucking leave me. And you'll tell me that you won't because you're a nice guy but you _will_. You'll leave me even if you didn't have _that_ to go to. She looked _so fucking normal_! I bet she like…volunteers at soup kitchens and shit…"

"Needle exchange…" Dave muttered under his breath.

"Of course…" Hailey made a weird sound as she laughed while she was still technically crying.

"You're wrong though. Okay, sure I really like the sex. It's like you crawled out of a porno like…a sexy Sadako, but that's not the _only_ reason I like you. I talk to you all the time, without us fucking. Marty and Todd aren't having sex with you and they like hanging out with you just as much as I do. You're being _really_ hard on yourself. Yeah, you're…weird, but I obviously don't care about that and it's not just because of the sex. You can tell when I'm lying. Am I lying right now?"

Hailey sniffled, wiping her eyes. "…no…"

"Exactly. So…if I'm the reason you're freaking out, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere."

Hailey let out another weird laugh. "Yeah…yeah you are. You're having bro night, remember?"

"Shit…Hailey, I don't have to do that. I'll just call and we'll reschedule…"

"No.." Hailey shook her head. "I don't want to be that girlfriend. You have plans. I'll be okay."

"I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself anyway." Dave sighed. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah, actually it is because…" Hailey paused, her hands moving awkwardly and her facial expression rapidly changing as she tried to phrase what she wanted to say. "Once I start crying, it-…you need to go so I can let this all out, okay?"

"That sounds a little…ominous…" Dave said, with concern.

"JUST FUCKING _**GO**_!" Hailey shrieked, slamming her fist on the arm of the couch, a feral look on her face.

"…o…kaaay…I'll just…go then…" Dave muttered, wide eyed as he stood up and fought every impulse to run to that door at full speed.

"I'm sorry…" Hailey sobbed, immediately snapping back from angry bear to scared chipmunk. "I didn't mean to-…I'm so sorry…"

Dave sighed. "I know... You sure you want me to go?"

"Yes…" Hailey dropped her head.

"Do you…want me to come back…later tonight?" Dave tentatively offered.

Hailey's head snapped up, her eyes wide and unblinking as she sniffled again. "Would you?"

"Yeah…if you want…"

"I do…" Hailey frantically nodded, her eyes still not blinking. "Promise?"

"I promise…" Dave gave a nervous chuckle. When the door mercifully clicked behind him Dave could finally quietly let out what he wanted to say since the infamous crying blowjob. 'What…the…FUCK?!'

* * *

It was nighttime when Dave had finally reached the agreed upon place. He'd needed to just…sit down and process things for an hour or two. Dave was currently pacing outside of the movie theatre, waiting for Marty and Todd to show up. It was really weird for Todd to be late, but who knows what was going on. Dave had been playing Hailey's freakout in his head over and over again, and it was like a double-sided puzzle. He just didn't know how to make sense of it all. Some of he could and some of it he couldn't. He really wanted to talk to someone about it, so of course Todd wasn't here yet. Marty was occasionally late so that made sense, at least. Though usually he wanted good seats.

He had no clue what he was going to come back to when he went back to Hailey's. And he felt that he _had_ to go back because if he didn't, not only would he have broken a promise, but she seemed to desperately want to know that she hadn't scared him off. Dave's phone began to buzz in his pocket. He quickly took it out, expecting it to be Todd or Marty, maybe even Hailey, but to his surprise the number read a different name altogether, Katie.

"I can't deal with this right now…" Dave muttered to himself, putting the phone back in his pocket. Never before had he just wanted to watch some mindless violence. Hell, even participate in some. Anything to take his mind off of things for a few more hours. His phone buzzed again, indicating that Katie had left him a message.

"Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Whooooole lotta nope going on here. I'm not listening to it right now. Just straight up nope. Nooooooooope!" Dave chanted to himself as he began to pace again. "Goddammit…" Dave groaned ten minutes later, picking up his phone out of his pocket and punching up the voicemail.

"Dave…I don't…I don't know why I'm calling you right now…" Something was off about Katie's voice. It was shaky and she was panting, and he was pretty sure she was crying since he'd recently gotten a lot of up close experience of what frantic full on girl crying sounds like. "…every part of my mind is saying that…I should be calling the police…but I went to dial 911…and my fingers just dialed your number instead…Dave…I'm so fucking scared…I'm…home alone, and…someone just broke down my front door…there's a bunch of guys…calling out my name…um…I think I'm about to die…and all I could think of was how shitty I've been to you…and I'm so…sooo sorry Dave…I didn't even go to your dad's _funeral_ …I'm such a bitch…I just didn't think you'd want to see me there…I can't exactly take back what I said so-"

Katie's voice immediately stopped and once more it was just panting and muffled sobs, and when she spoke again, it was the softest whisper. "…they're coming up the stairs…" At this point, Dave could actually hear the voices chanting her name. It was like something out of a scary movie. There were a lot of slamming noises as well. "…I think…I'm going to hang up the phone now…this is the worst voicemail ever, isn't it…? I'm such a bitch…" CLICK.

…

…

…

…

…

FUCK!

* * *

 _(A/N: When I read through this chapter, I realized how the ending probably looked as far as where I'm going with the story. Dave is not going to end up with Katie, but…let's see…how can I phrase this…this was the most interesting way for Dave to find out about the situation, and I feel if Katie thought she was about to die, then that's the kind of message she would leave. One more chapter to go. I've been surprising myself with how quickly I've been getting these out. Let's hope I can keep it up.)_


	4. Chapter 4

Dave tried to calm himself as he knocked on the door. Freaking out wasn't going to solve anything, but he couldn't help it. All that flashed in his mind was all the ones that he'd lost and the few that he has left.

"What do you want?" The booming voice asked from the other side.

"Look…Marcus…I know you have every reason to be pissed at me but I wouldn't be here if I wasn't desperate. You're the only one I have left to come to."

"If it has anything to do with our green 'friend', you wasted your time."

"I don't _know_ , okay?!" Dave shrieked. "All I know is that everyone in my life is missing right now. _EVERYONE_! I…I don't know what to do… I hit things…or I'm the one getting hit, I don't know the detective side…Mindy did that stuff…or the Colonel…or Mindy's dad or…goddammit…"

There was a loud sigh as the door opened. "Get in here before I change my mind. You've got five minutes."

Dave didn't need the time limit. As soon as he was in the house, Dave practically exploded with the information. Everything that happened after he left Hailey's place. Marcus just nodded as Dave spoke, taking in the information and reminding Dave to breathe.

"So…you got the call from Katie, went to her place, which was trashed. No signs of who took her. And when you called and went back to see if your friends were at the theatre, they'd apparently left to meet you but never made it. And no one is answering their phones, including your new girlfriend."

"Exactly…" Dave muttered with a sigh. "Everyone is just gone. All at once. The only one who I know for a fact was taken was Katie. I'm sorry I have to drop all of this on you. I know you blame me for Mindy not being here. I'll take that but…I can't lose everyone else… I don't know what else to do…I don't even know who's behind it. I'm assuming it's…Chris somehow, but…I don't know…It's the only thing that makes sense…"

"Okay…" Marcus seemed to sigh in defeat before shaking his head. "I'm not a cop anymore, but…I still have some connections. Let's start with the easiest. As far as you know, they have their phone's on them?"

"As far as I know…" Dave replied, looking up.

"Write their numbers down for me. I have a call to make." Marcus ordered, leaving the room.

Dave did as asked, writing down the numbers and handing them to Marcus. He continued to talk quietly on the phone, yelling at times as Dave waited awkwardly, just trying to calm down. It was easier said than done. It felt like he was wasting time, but what else could he do? Everything else that came to mind would be wasting more time than this. He was hoping that Marcus would speed things up at least.

"I have an address." Marcus' words snapped Dave out of his pondering and his eyes widened as he saw the paper in Marcus' hand and tried to grab it, but Marcus lifted the paper out of his reach.

"The GPS of all four phones is here." Marcus' eyes narrowed. "Meaning that you're either dealing with idiots or this is a trap. That's a big gamble."

Well, if it was Chris, he wasn't always consistently smart when it came to plans, so that did add up. But the only thing that didn't mesh was that Chris was always so flashy with everything, but then again, time and a shark biting off your dick could change a guy. Regardless, Dave stood up, snatching the paper. "I have to take that chance."

"Or you could let the police do their job. The parents reported their children missing. They're working on it."

Dave rolled his eyes. "No offense but hate me all you want about Mindy leaving but if she'd have left it to the cops then I'd be shark chow. They have access to the same technology you do. If they beat me there, good. I don't care as long as my friends are safe."

"Dave…if the cops beat you there, or so much as see Kick Ass, you're going to jail." Marcus crossed his arms.

"Then do me a favor and send the lube. I have to go. Thanks for the help. I won't bother you again." Dave looked at the paper and quickly rushed out.

"Dave, wait… Do you…need help?" Marcus muttered.

Dave paused, turning back. "Um…thanks for the offer. But this is Kick Ass' problem. That's why I'm not asking any of the others. They're out, I'm leaving them out. I'll deal with this one way or the other. Besides, if it is a trap, better I trip it than anyone else…" And with that, Dave was gone.

* * *

It took everything in Dave not to just jump through the window and take what came. But he couldn't afford to be reckless. There were no police in sight. There was no help coming right now. Kick Ass needed to be smart about this. He needed to survey the area, see what he was dealing with.

His heart was already in his chest when he could see two chairs with Marty and Todd bound and gagged. He couldn't see Katie or Hailey, but it could have been the angle. His vision from the window was limited. He could see two captors so far as well. One large guy and one much smaller. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to be patient and listened.

"What do you want, Cass?"

"I was just kinda wonderin'….can I play with the girl?"

There was an immediate feminine muffled sound. Almost a question at first and then another of anger. Kick Ass breathed a slight sigh of relief as he recognized Katie's voice or at the very least what she sounded like when she was pissed.

"No, Cass. I told you we don't do that."

"But, 'Zo… we're gonna kill her anyway, right?"

'Zo sighed. "It's the principle of the matter, Cass…"

"Oh fine…can I just touch her a bit then?"

"What happened last time I let you touch a hostage 'a bit'?" 'Zo growled.

"I said I was sorry…she scratched me…you know how I get…"

"Which is why you don't go near the hostages, especially the female ones. That's why I'm the brains of this outfit."

A third male voice cleared his throat.

"That's why _we're_ the brains of this outfit." 'Zo corrected.

"Speaking of which, Enzo, I still say we just kill them now, Cass'…appetite notwithstanding…"

"I'm telling you, the girl and fatty over there look like someone would miss them." 'Zo motioned his head, pointing. "It's not like we're getting paid for this job. Might as well get something out of it."

Under other circumstances, Todd's muffled protest at being left out would have been funny.

"They don't need to be alive for that." The voice sighed. "Cut a bit off while they're alive, kill them, send the body part with the ransom, make a meetup point, Cass picks up the money, takes care of the witnesses. That way if they call the cops, we haven't lost anything…except Cass."

"What? I'm not lost."

"Exactly, Cass. Don't worry about it." 'Zo snickered. "Corpses are so messy though…"

The voice sighed. "That's why Cass is so important to our team. Don't know what we'd do without him."

"Awwww shucks, guys…"

"We can only pull that once though. We could ransom them at the same time, but I'd say we just ransom the girl."

Kick Ass had heard enough. They were alive, but it didn't look like they'd be that way much longer. There was only one door and a locked window so there was no stealthy way in. He'd have to go with the 'scare the shit out of them' route. Dave closed his eyes, took another deep breath, backed up for a running start and then burst through the window, aiming himself at Cass, who was the larger one, with a primal growl. When you took out the big one, it tended to freak the others out.

BLAM!

Kick Ass immediately went flying from the gunshot, landing in a motionless heap. He fucked up. Dave had assumed the one who grunted at not being included in 'the brain of the operation' was the voice he kept hearing. He'd been a fourth voice who was staying out of the conversation. He had the perfect shot.

Muffled screams immediately filled the air as Dave's friends recognized the costume and put two and two together.

"What the fuck was that?" 'Zo exclaimed. "You okay, Cass?" The only response was a pained groan.

"…Tommy…"

"What?" 'Zo asked. "You know this dead fool?"

Cass groaned again, trying to stand. "The Green ranger…you killed the Green ranger, Dex… That's not cool… He's my favorite.."

'Zo rolled his eyes. "That's not the green ranger, Cass. It was one of those superheroes. Like Kick Ass."

"Whoever it is." The voice started, nodding to the hostages. "I think they know him."

"Knew him you mean." 'Zo corrected with a chuckle, nudging Dave with his foot.

"Let's just kill the hostages and leave." Dex muttered, finally speaking. "If _he_ found us, there could be more. This is a wash."

"Fair enough." 'Zo sighed. "You know…up close, he kinda does look like Kick Ass…just solid...kinda…armored."

"Armored?!" Dex's head shot up.

And that was Dave's cue. Dex sounded a little in the distance but he'd gotten as much mileage from being dead as he was going to get. Though, truth be told, he needed the extra time. That hurt _a lot_ more than when Mindy shot him.

Kick Ass pulled out his batons and went for the legs. Another bullet whizzed by him and he hid behind Cass. On the plus side, Dave wasn't shot again and Cass was down and out. On the negative, his human shield fell on the floor. 'Zo was a deer in the headlights. A hit to the neck and a headbutt and he was out.

Kick ass was able to dive behind the third man, letting Dex do his work for him again. Dave wasn't actually the biggest fan of fighting like this, but he had to take every advantage possible. If they were going to use a gun in close combat like this, then they only had themselves to blame. The third man wasn't as big as Cass, and as he fell, Kick Ass was able to leap over him. He started to launch himself at the last goon, but then time stopped and Dave froze where he was.

Dex pushed the gun hard against Marty's temple. "Hands up, hero."

Kick Ass groaned in defeat. It figured. He was doing so well. His luck just couldn't hold out. He dropped his batons, lifting his hands in surrender.

"No sudden movements." Dex ordered. "Take off that mask or helmet or whatever the fuck that is."

Of course he wanted the helmet off. It looked bulletproof, and Dex wanted a clear shot. When Dave reached up to take it off, he could see Dex move the gun towards him. It was like time was slowing down again. Dave could hear his heart pounding. This move was risky, but he had no other choice. He made a quick movement, pulling out the taser that had on his back under the armor and firing it.

Dex shuddered uncontrollably and barely had time to register that Kick Ass was leaping at him before his head was slammed hard against the wall, bringing the fight to a close.

Marty was the closest, so he was ungagged first. "HOLY SHIT! How long have you had that costume?! And that whole thing with the taser! That was literally the most badass thing I've ever seen in my life!"

"You saw Hit Girl in action when she saved me in that unmasking shit-show. What I did was nothing compared to that." Dave reminded him.

"Yeah but that was dark! We couldn't see it all!" Todd exclaimed once he was free.

"Trust me. I'm alright at best. You guys almost got killed because of me."

"Oh my God, Dave I've never been so happy and pissed to see someone at the same time in my life!" Katie moaned as she was freed. Unlike the others, who were basically unharmed, Katie was nursing a nasty bruise on her cheek.

"I know, I'm so sor-…shit, Katie are you okay?"

"I'll live." Katie grumbled.

"Where's Hailey? Wasn't she being held with you?" Dave asked, now that he could really process the situation and see that Marty, Todd, and Katie seemed to be the only hostages.

It was the loudest silence Dave had ever heard. The three of them were all focusing on their wrists, trying to get the blood back to pumping, and doing everything not to look Dave in the eye.

"Guys?" Dave's voice cracked.

"Um…" Marty started with a sigh. "Fuck, man…I thought you knew. Hailey…wasn't being held with us…she's the one who took us in the first place…" He nodded to the men on the floor. "She was working _with_ them."

"Looked like they were working _for_ her to me…" Katie muttered. "Nice new girlfriend there, Dave." She gingerly touched the bruise on her cheek. "Real charmer…"

Dave dropped his head, silently processing the new information. This entire time, he'd just assumed that they were targeted because of what he did as Kick Ass. Instead, it appeared it was because of what he did as Dave.

"She did tell us it wasn't personal." Todd defended, his eyes going to the bodies on the floor. It was clear he was conflicted that they were dead but glad it wasn't him at the same time. "Except Katie, of course. That was personal as fuck."

"Gee, ya think?" Katie snapped.

"Just…" Dave started, forcing himself to remain a superhero for a bit longer. "Your phones are still here?"

"Um…yeah…" Marty muttered, reading the situation. "They took all our shit in the back room."

"Good. Get it. Call the police. They might be on their way, anyway." Dave looked down at Dex and 'Zo. "Those two aren't dead so…" You could see the inner turmoil in Dave's mind. Hit Girl would have just killed them, then they'd be no threat. But he just felt…wrong…killing someone unless it was absolutely necessary. Dave sighed, taking all the guns. "Call the police. I'll take care of everything else. I'm…sorry…" He pulled zip ties out of his belt and cuffed both men and threw one over his shoulder, dragging the other one. "I'll be around until they get here, you just won't see me."

"Dave?" Katie looked concerned. Even through Kick Ass's mask, you could see that he was _not_ taking this news very well.

"It'll be okay. Just keep each other safe… I'll take care of it. I'll…take care of everything…" He repeated, leaving the way he entered, through the broken window.

* * *

Hailey bobbed her head and shook her hips as she sang loudly in the shower. It was one of the most delicious showers she'd ever had. Her fist was still throbbing a little but it had been _so_ worth it. Everything was going to be perfect now. She just needed to be ready for Dave when he came back. Everything would be perfect.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she looked in the mirror, deciding what she'd do with her hair this time. There was something she just…hated about looking the same, day to day. She wanted to keep things different. After deciding on putting her hair in a braid, Hailey dried and did her hair and headed to the living room only to pause. Something was off. She was sure that she'd left the lights on.

"That was a very long shower."

"Who?!" Hailey growled suspiciously, hearing the sudden voice, but then just as quickly went from guarded to cautious. "Dave?"

"Yeah…"

"Are you okay? How'd you get in?" Hailey asked, turning on the light. Her eyes widened when she saw that Dave was still in costume.

"Window." He grunted. "And as far as the other question. No…I am not okay. I am very _very_ not okay."

"What's wrong, Sweety?" Hailey gave Dave a reassuring pat.

Dave slowly turned to face Hailey. There was a very long pause before Dave spoke again. "You _know_ what's wrong…"

"I-"

"Choose your next words _very_ carefully…" Dave growled, his hands noticeably still gripping his batons. He was almost shaking in anger. It was like he could see her formulating the lie, and was daring her to say it outloud.

"Dave..." Hailey took a deep breath. "I can explain…"

"Explain what, Hailey?" Dave growled. "How can you explain literally trying to kill _everyone_ I care about?!"

"I would have still been there for you, Dave. I know it would have been a little hard on you, but we would have gotten though it together." Hailey placed a hand on Dave's shoulder.

"A little hard on me…" Dave repeated. "I watched my mother die. I watch a friend's father get burned alive because of a mistake that I made. My father was killed because of me and my previous girlfriend was nearly beaten to death for the same reason. If I lost everyone else…there would have been nothing left of me. Not for you, not for anyone."

"I know… Believe me I know, but you wouldn't have been alone, silly. You'd have still had _me_. We would have been stronger because of it." Hailey shrank back a bit when Dave practically slapped her hand off his shoulder.

"Are you…even listening to yourself? I know you say some crazy shit from time to time but…seriously? You thought I would have been fine with you getting all my friends…and Katie…killed?"

Hailey rolled her eyes. "You weren't supposed to _know_ that I was behind it. That's the only reason you're angry, but we'll get _through_ this. Your friends were very nice but they were in the way of us truly being together. And since you didn't know how you felt about Katie, I made the decision for you. I did it for us! I can still make you happy, Dave. Just give me a chance to prove it to you. You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'm all you need, Baby…"

"…wow…" Dave said, looking into Hailey's face. "I'm an…idiot…I'm a complete and total idiot…"

"Dave…?"

"Since I met you there was this voice in the back of my head… I just kept ignoring it because sure you seemed a bit nuts, but who doesn't? Surely you couldn't be as off your rocker as you seemed. And if I'm being honest, I liked the attention. Maybe even more than the sex. I felt like you'd do anything for me."

"I would, Dave." Hailey tried to force a smile. "You're the most important person in my life. You're my world."

Dave lowered his head in a groan. "We have been together a week, Hailey. A _week_!"

"So? Sometimes you just know. I'm not stupid, Dave. I know you need more time to feel that strongly about me and that's fine. I can wait."

Dave sighed. "You know the real crazy thing about all of this? You're steadily talking like this conversation is going to end with us still together."

This got a reaction from Hailey. Until now she'd been calm if not a little pleading. But her eyes immediately shot wide. "Dave…what…what are you saying? You're not breaking up with me. This is just an argument. That's all. We'll work this out."

"You tried to kill everyone I know!" Dave roared. "How am I supposed to trust you after that?! This is going to end one of three ways and none of those is going to involve us dating."

Hailey rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'll humor you. What are those three ways?"

"You get some professional help." For the first time since Hailey got out of the shower, Dave took off his mask and let Hailey see his face. Behind his fury, you could see how much he wanted her to choose this option.

"Professional help." Hailey let out a dry laugh. "I tried that, you know. Remember when I told you that guys don't usually go right for my ass? Usually…"

Dave sighed. "I get it Hailey. You've been through some shit. You've been through a lot of shit. Even Marty and Todd could tell that much. And for what it's worth I'm sorry. And this might sound selfish but I just…can't deal with your crazy. I can't. I won't."

"My _crazy_?! Dave I just want you to _love_ me! That's it! Why are you making this so complicated?!"

"Second option." Dave started, ignoring the question. "One of us has to die."

"I'm not sure if you're purposely not listening to me, but not being with you is _not_ an option for me. I'm in pain when I'm not with you. It's torture. Even if you don't know I'm there…I have to be with you Dave. You die, I die."

There was an awkward pause that seemed to almost define their relationship. "Third option. You leave. I never see you again. Not in the comic book store. Not with my friends. Not in this apartment. You just disappear from my life."

"I do not like these options." Hailey glared. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Dave suddenly held Hailey's face. "Why aren't _you_ listening?! If you don't leave or get some help, there's only one other way this can end!"

"Option four." Hailey loving put her hands over Dave's. "We just run away together. I spend the rest of my life proving my love for you and I'll leave your friends be. I can make you happy Dave. Just _let_ me."

"Option four ends with me killing myself." Dave stated bluntly. His eyes were narrowed. He seemed fed up and worn out and just…tired of this entire situation.

"You don't mean that…"

Dave looked Hailey in the eyes. "You leave, get help, or die. That simple. I'm done with this. I'm done. Look into my face. You can always tell if I'm lying right? Get help, leave, or you _die_. Am I lying?"

Hailey's eyes bulged again. "Dave…please…don't-"

"Goodbye Hailey." Dave let go of her and stood up, heading for the window.

"Dave! If you leave, I swear I'll-"

"What?" Dave turned around, pulling a gun on her. The same gun that had come so close to killing Marty and probably the others. "What are you gonna do, Hailey?"

"Dave…" Hailey pleaded, literally on her knees.

"That's what I thought." Dave slammed the window shut behind him.

Hailey remained on the floor, kneeling where Dave had left her. Her unblinking eyes stared at the window as if that would bring him back, chanting the same thing over and over. "He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that."

A half hour later, her chanting slowed and she took a deep breath. A strained laugh escaped her lips. "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have tried to kill them all at once and pin it on someone else. It was too suspicious. I need to make it look like an accident. One by one. He'll come back to me then. He'll come back to me and then we'll be happy. So happy."

Hailey scrambled to the kitchen, which had the key to her room. Not that Dave had ever tried to go in there. He was such a sweetheart. Their babies were going to be so spoiled. Hailey unlocked the door and stepped into the room. She'd joked with Dave that the room was where she kept the bodies as well as her crazy girl shrine that covered the walls and the ceiling.

This wasn't entirely true. The shrine covered the floor as well. Hailey laminated the pictures herself. When she couldn't see Dave, this room let her be literally surrounded by him on all sides. She'd started it after the day they met. She followed him to Marty's place. He looked so adorable when he slept. Every yearbook picture, every picture on one of his friends' phones, every image she could find or take of Dave was in this room.

"Holy shit…"

Hailey's eyes darted behind her where the voice came from, but it was like a ghost or a shadow whizzing past her. She barely saw anything but a blur. When she looked forward again the one who spoke had their back to her and was looking over the room. All Hailey could see was purple hair and a cape.

"I was gone a year…" She stated in awe, looking at the plethora of pictures. "Just a year. And this is the shit I come back to. I mean…goddammit, Dave..."

"Who are you and how'd you get in here?" Hailey growled, appearing as if she was fully prepared to tear the intruder apart with her bare hands.

"Window." She replied, her head turning back with a smirk.

Hailey's eyes widened in recognition as the intruder turned around and she saw the HG on her belt and figured out the rest since there was only one other superhero Dave had mentioned. "Oh…it's you…"

"I actually have a message for you. Dave forgot it, apparently."

"If Dave wants to tell me something, I'll hear it from him, not _you_." Hailey snapped.

Hit Girl smiled. "Oh _I_ don't have the message. Black Bolt does."

You could practically see the question mark above Hailey's head. "Black Bolt?"

"He only needs to say one loud word and he can end _any_ disagreement." Before Hailey could acknowledge the sound of the gun cocking, Hit Girl had already fired it, indeed bringing an end to any disagreement the two would have had.

Hit Girl scowled at the falling corpse, holstering her weapon again. "Crazy bitch."

* * *

 _(A/N: And there you have it. This might have seemed like a sudden ending but it was always planned that way from the moment Hailey's character popped in my head. Mindy always saw the bedroom shine and popped a cap. Let's be honest, Mindy wouldn't play that lol. Hailey was definitely a fun character to play around with, and there's a lot that I didn't really get to do with her. Because of that, however, I'm very tempted to do an epilogue for Mindy(explaining how she knew to be there) and one of Hailey(probably a psychiatric evaluation of her). I'll probably do them anyway, but let me know if there's a definite interest.)_


	5. Epilogue 1

Kick Ass sighed, looking down from a familiar rooftop. It was slightly irksome that this particular rooftop would always make him think of Hailey now. And it would probably remind him of her even if they hadn't fucked on it that one time. His thoughts couldn't get off her, and like whenever they were on Hailey, they were conflicted. There were so many things to like about her but it just wasn't enough to justify that level of psycho bitch.

Maybe if it was just him at risk, he might have rolled the dice. Hailey was obviously a few fries short of a Happy Meal but it wasn't like she was completely illogical. But with everyone else at risk, he just couldn't take that chance. She needed to go and he needed to make sure she stayed gone.

"Hey."

Dave didn't so much jump as he stiffened at the sudden voice. It was reminiscent of Hailey meeting him on this rooftop but there was no comparison. He had no clue Mindy was there until he heard her voice. She sat down next to him with a smirk, obviously taking pleasure in startling him.

"How did it go?" Dave asked cautiously.

"She killed herself." Hit Girl replied with a shrug.

Dave's eyes bulged, immediately turning to Mindy. "What? How?"

"Shot herself in the face." Mindy continued to look down at the alley, but the smirk on her face was clearly still there.

Dave's eyes narrowed. "I've never seen Hailey use a gun."

Mindy smirked a little wider. "Go figure."

"Godammit, Mindy! You were just supposed to make sure she left!" Dave growled.

"I did. No way she's coming back from where I sent her. Sorry…where she sent herself. And it's Hit Girl when I'm in costume." She reminded him. Dave looked like he was about to yell again and Mindy held up her hand to silence him, pulling a small device out of one of her belt pouches. As soon as Dave acknowledged the device, she pressed a button.

' _He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't mean that. He didn't-'_

A familiar whirring sound was heard as Mindy fast forwarded the recording for a few seconds.

' _-that. He didn't mean that. He-'_

Mindy nodded impatiently, skipping forward again.

' _-mean that. He didn't-'_

"Okay, I know she was mental." Dave sighed. "You don't have to-"

Mindy held up her hand again.

' _-was too suspicious. I need to make it look like an accident. One by one. He'll come back to me then. He'll come back to me and then we'll be happy. So happy.'_

There was a quiet between the two heroes as Mindy put the device back into her belt. "What would you have done if you were me?"

Dave dropped his head. "Dammit Hailey…" He groaned before realizing Mindy was still waiting for an answer. "I'd have killed her…"

"You're welcome." Mindy said, victoriously. "Also, I'm going to assume that you've never been in her bedroom."

Dave's eyes bulged as he looked back at her. "Oh God…how bad was it?"

"There were pictures of you everywhere. Walls, ceiling, and the floor. Most of them taken from a distance. They were pretty good quality too. I'd have stolen her camera if it wouldn't be necessary for police evidence."

Dave groaned loudly. "I was really hoping she was joking about that…were there bodies in there too?"

Mindy's eyes widened at Dave even somewhat knowing about what was in that room. "Only yours. And I guess hers now. I was tempted to take them all down, but everything I found was you and not Kick Ass so it was best to leave it all. The cops are going to have a field day with this one. Especially the female cops. Have you always slept naked?"

Dave's eyes bulged even wider as they darted in Mindy's direction. Her grin made it clear that she wasn't joking.

"Fuuuuuck!" Dave facepalmed his mask. "It's been a hot Spring, okay? And after sex there's just no point in-…you know what? None of your business."

Mindy couldn't help but to laugh at him. Dave was blushing profusely through this mask. "It only helps to solidify the story now. She stalked you, tried to kidnap your friends with goons, Kick Ass saved them, you broke up with her and she shot herself in the face. You are going to need to come up with where you were while Kick Ass was kicking ass. Good job on that, by the way."

Dave rolled his eyes. "Trust me. You wouldn't be saying that if you were there. It was sloppy and I almost lost."

"I almost lost at Rasul's." Mindy reminded him. "It happens."

Dave looked down thoughtfully, swinging his legs a little. "The problem with the alibi is everywhere I would be, would have been with the people who were kidnapped."

Mindy chuckled. "Well then, maybe next time, you kill _everyone_ and then you can control the story more. From what Marcus told me a little while ago, one of the guys kept their mouth shut but the little one sang like a canary."

"Ugh! That's not actually all that surprising." Dave grumbled. "Where did Hailey even get those goons?"

"Apparently, their boss owed her a favor for 'services rendered'. Must have been one damn good favor to merit such a high profile move. It's not like they were subtle, especially in Katie's case." Mindy shrugged. "I'm thinking it had something to do with her obvious 'surveillance' skills. She could have blackmailed him or blackmailed someone for him. Who knows? Marcus can only tell me what his contacts can find out."

Dave chuckled. "I think Marcus is going to have to be my alibi."

Mindy's eyes widened and she threw back her head into a loud laugh. "Oh, he's going to _love_ that."

"So…" Dave mumbled, "You've really been in contact with Marcus this whole time?"

"Of course not." Mindy replied, "He was under surveillance when I left. I only got back into contact with him about a month or two again. He still had police contacts to see if it was safe for me to come back. That's why I didn't contact _you_ at all until he told me about the kidnapping."

Dave's head snapped to face her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Mindy sighed. "If I'd have helped you when you asked, we might have taken out Chris before...things happened. If you need my help again I'm there, regardless of any danger to myself. But on the other hand, you'd feel worse if I got locked up helping you. So I figured if you didn't know how to get into contact with me, you wouldn't do anything stupid. Like putting your dick in the craziest bitch you can find…"

"I didn't know she was _that_ crazy…" Dave murmured.

"I only know what you told me when I got here and what I heard from the closet, but dude…seriously…I'm not an expert on relationships or anything, but even I could tell that bitch was unhinged."

"Like you're not a little unhinged?" Dave rolled his eyes.

"There's levels of crazy, Dave. I'm Batman crazy. She's Joker crazy. You don't fuck Joker crazy."

There was an awkward silence between them as the alternative hung in the air a bit. "Yeah…I guess…"

"You know what this means though?" Mindy turned to Dave with a coy smirk.

"W-what?" Dave stammered.

"If I get a crazy boyfriend, then you have to kill him for me." Mindy flashed her teeth to Dave in a wide grin.

Dave's eyes bulged. "What? No!"

Mindy grabbed Dave's pinky with her own and shook on it. "It's a deal then!" And then she leapt off the roof.

"Wait…wha-? That doesn't count! I didn't agree to that! Get back here!" Dave growled, chasing after her. "That is not proper pinky promise etiquette!"


	6. Epilogue 2

"This is Dr. Yankem giving my personal assessment of one, Jane Doe, at last questioning going by the name Kylie Raymond. Of course, in Jane's case, the name she gives us is a moot point. It will change the next time her personality state changes.

The fact that Jane even appears to have personality states leads me to believe that she may have Dissociative Identity Disorder. However, if this is the case, this might be one of the more intriguing cases of it I've ever seen.

What we do know for a fact is that something happened in her past. Some trauma, most likely when she was very young, that her mind simply couldn't deal with. Questions about Jane's past are an immediate reset for her personality state. Though…reset might be the wrong word. That implies…going back to a default. As far as we've been able to tell, Jane's 'default' is so deeply buried that it might as well be non-existent.

Unlike most cases of DID I've come across, Jane's personality states are completely different each time. From family to name to age to where she's from to accent, even to small facial expressions. We've taken a log of each change and she's never used the same information more than one time. On occasion, she might use the same state when asked where she's from, but never the same city. This implies that Jane might very well have a photographic memory. This might have made her trauma, whatever it was, infinitely worse.

My opinion is that she's running from her past so hard in her mind that it can't just…rest on a single…self. Jane feels that she must keep changing and never be the same person more than once. However, another thing that separates Jane's condition with that of DID is that as far as her short-term memory goes, she doesn't lose time when her personality state changes. She remembers that we ask her the same questions, and as far as it goes in her mind, she gives us the same answers even though that's far from the truth. Any proof otherwise merely changes her personality state again.

Overall, these personality states are harmless. Jane just wanders around doing her own thing. She's actually rather charming and witty in her own way. However, she does get the occasional 'dangerous' trait from her changes. Sometimes we'll find her sneaking into places with no clue how she got there, or she'll get paranoid or desperate.

She's in remarkably good shape and much stronger than she looks and from what the guards say, 'fights like a sexy Jet Li'. This could imply that she's had some training and PTSD might be playing a part in this. Luckily these dangerous traits are almost never in the same personality state or…we might have another problem… Apparently it is very unwise to attack her directly unless you know what you're doing. Of course, if you simply ask her a question about her past, then the personality state will change. As I said before, these dangerous traits are rare. So, while they can be a problem, they're also easily managed.

Now when things become especially interesting is when Jane becomes 'anchored'. As noted earlier, the majority of her personality alters when she switches from one personality state to the next, with her short-term memory remaining and rewriting itself to fit the new personality state so that no time is lost. This however, changes when she anchors to another person.

What I mean by anchoring is…hm…how should I put this…? On occasion, Jane will come across someone who fits an archetype that all her personality states seem to be searching for. Most of her personality states speak about comic book characters, superheroes especially, and I feel she looks for that heroism in people. She searches for someone as noble and altruistic and selfless as the characters she read about. If someone seems to fit that mold in her mind, she anchors to them.

Her next personality state will then solidify around that person. Her world will revolve around that anchor and aspects of her personality might change to suit that person. Her past will still change when asked about it but she's aware of this and tries to guide conversations away from those subjects. And even when this happens, only her past will change. Not the entire personality state. Her 'present' and immediate past from when she met the anchor will remain the same.

While it may be tempting to encourage this more…focused state, it's also the most dangerous. When Jane is unanchored, then when something conflicts with her current personality state, she merely switches to a new one. When anchored, she has two responses to a conflict. She either changes a part of her personality state to fit it or destroys the conflict entirely.

For example, when she was found, Jane was staying at a house that wasn't hers. The police still haven't found the original residents. As far as she was concerned, that was her house and anything that didn't fit that belief needed to go. Jane also taps into those dangerous traits more frequently when she's anchored. She'll want to know everything there is to know about the anchor and she's remarkably resourceful in ways of finding out that information. The anchor rarely even realizes that they're being watched.

I'd like to think that if Jane found the right anchor and moved somewhere remote where just the two of them could live out their lives then she'd live a happy life. Unfortunately, most people aren't wired that way. We seek out others like ourselves. One person usually isn't enough. That's why we usually need both family and friends. And if anyone or thing comes in the way of Jane and her anchor, she has them dealt with. Usually in the form of a disappearance unless she feels personally slighted. And in that case, she becomes very…inventive with her punishments depending on the severity of the slight.

She'd never hurt the anchor itself. She's so dedicated to the anchor that she would gladly die for them in fact. This focused state remains the same unless the anchor fails to meet her expectations of a 'hero' and to a lesser extent if they say or do something that directly conflicts with her personal reality. Depending on the conflict, she'll go through the…rather unnerving process of rewriting the memory in her head. She doesn't respond to anything in the outside world while this is happening. She doesn't blink, she doesn't eat, she merely repeats the new memory over and over until she can overwrite the trauma of the conflict. The amount of time this takes varies.

Now…I've seen firsthand what happens when Jane no longer sees an anchor as her anchor. It's…

…

…

…

If…if someone tried to weaponize that state of mind with the way that she moved and…

…

…

…that poor man…

…

Anyway…I've…never seen any human being that focused on causing another human being physical harm. I don't…have words for it. I am not a religious man but if you told me that Lucifer himself possessed her at that moment, I would not be able to make a sufficient argument otherwise. And of course, afterwards she gets a new personality state which makes her the victim of the situation.

That aside…she is _clearly_ a victim. Though some of my colleagues do not agree. I must believe that for her to lash out to that extent, she must want so much worse for that hero to save her. Probably from herself. To shatter such an…undoubtedly brilliant mind as Jane's…I feel that that's the true monstrosity here. Something happened to her that was so horrible that she can never stop running away from it. She's always searching for a hero to keep for herself. Someone who can make her feel truly safe. Even her made up pasts are never happy ones. Everyone deserves some happy memories.

I did have something of a breakthrough recently. Jane appears to be cognizant that her pasts aren't real without being anchored. Her personality states aren't quite so different anymore. She appears to me more eager to get treatment. She wants to get better. I feel like I'm beginning to get through to her.

Jane still doesn't appear to be able to face her past but she's _aware_ of this. I'd even go as far as to say that she's having…fun…with it. The pasts that she's coming up with are more and more ridiculous. I'd almost see this as a regression if she didn't seem to see it as a joke. She is acknowledging that there is a problem and that gives me a foothold that I can make some leeway with. I'm planning on using hypnosis tomorrow to see if I can get some consistent memories when her mind isn't in such a guarded state. I'm cautiously optimistic."

 _(A/N: And there you go. Hopefully that will satisfy a lot of peoples' curiosity about "Hailey" at least to an extent. I know people want to know more specifics about Hailey's past but there are so many interesting options that until I need to choose one, then they won't solidify in my mind. As I've told a couple of you, this is probably not the last you will see of Hailey. I obviously find the character very interesting and put a lot of thought into her, so…if you see a girl by the name of Hailey show up in another story, be afraid…be very afraid._

 _Oh! Don't know how clear this was, but Hailey's 'breakthrough' was totally her anchoring to Dr. Yankem. She just knew enough that if she appeared anchored, then they'd give her another doctor so she played the part of a slowly recovering patient. I was going to do a full police report on the aftermath of Hailey's hypnosis(which despite what TV tells you is apparently NOT a good idea to do on someone with DID) but I couldn't be bothered so I'll just tell you what happens._

 _The hypnosis triggers one of her 'dangerous' states out of self-defense with getting too close to the initial trauma, and she snaps, killing Yankem and anyone she knows has seen her. Since she's kept in isolation so that she doesn't anchor to anyone, this wasn't a long list. From there she destroyed all of the records of her stay that she could find and escaped, resetting to another personality state and wandering around(coming across the goons' boss at some point and doing him a favor) until she found Dave and we know how that ended up for her. Oddly enough, I think Dave would have fit her ideal pretty well if it wasn't for his remaining friends.)_


End file.
